“My new friend, Pepe, perfumed me last night and I smelled beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that when I came inside, I rubbed some of it into the door mat and dining room carpet. I was thinking that special gesture might make the smell last a little longer. You know how certain perfumes smell better on some than others? I guess Mary didn’t like the smell at all because she made me take it off immediately. I mean, a bath at midnight? Was that really necessary?
She used some kind of special concoction of hydrogen peroxide, dish soap and baking soda. Now I smell like the medicine cabinet. And, I think Pepe is pissed at her. Like, really pissed.
I hope I see him again tonight so I can apologize…”